Have you ever been worried about falling behind? It’s a story I’ve bought into my whole life- keep moving, work harder, do better, or else you will fall behind and never make it and all will be doomed. Or something like that.
A lot of that comes from not knowing exactly what we want. When we aren’t sure, we listen to the outside world rather than to ourselves, and get caught up in the endless cycle of ‘not-doing-enough-ness’ and forget to pause and enjoy our lives.
I’m a day behind in the blog challenge, and though there was a small voice in my head that was saying “I told you so”, I was able to brush it aside and keep going without too much ado.
That voice used to crush me.
It would send me diving into my bed, hiding with my former Netflix account, super anxious about all the things I wasn’t doing, but unable to act for fear of doing it wrong.
Because I wasn’t clear. I didn’t trust my vision, my voice, myself.
Slowly, over time, I started getting clear. Learning what makes me happy, learning what triggers the voice, and learning how to settle it down (yoga, running, writing, baking cookies, doing the dishes). The clearer I got about who I was and where I was going (even if I didn’t know how), the less power that voice had.
I chose (and choose) to do what lights me up, and to make decisions that will inform the way I want to live and who I want to be.
“You simply need to make a choice. You need to choose freedom and make a commitment to building that lifestyle.” ~Natalie Sisson
The prompt for today is to choose three priorities for the next 30 days that will move me toward living life on my own terms, focusing on what may be a stretch, but is achievable.
Three days ago, my answers probably would have been different. One of the beautiful things about choosing what lights you up, of knowing what makes you happy and trusting your intuition, is that a lot of the time, it allows you to make major changes and choices in an instant, without any problems at all.
This weekend, I was given an opportunity. And decided that in just over a month, I will be leaving Denver, my home of the past three years, and spending a few months in Alabama, somewhere I never thought I would ever live, ever.
I’ve been given the opportunity to make a lot of dreams reality, and, like everything else, it’s a choice. I will have the space to spend most of my time on my business, get the chance to experience establishing myself for a few months in a new city, and am releasing most of my belongings before I go. Also, money won’t be an issue, so I can focus on higher level things, which is a fun bonus!
Here’s the thing though. To many people, this might look like falling behind. Leaving a great community, a lot of connections, a good situation- why would I ‘throw all of that away’ for something that has no guarantee?
Because I know, deep in my heart, that this is a decision that will catapult me forward. There is no true way to rationalize it. I just know- this chance will offer major clarity, opportunity, and possibility- because I am CHOOSING to allow it in.
So, in the next 30 Days my 3 priorities are:
- Sell 90% of my belongings and pack only what I need into my car
- Take care of all business here in Denver
- Head to Costa Rica for 2 weeks with a cleared to-do list and an open heart
- Finish this blog challenge, send my weekly emails, and continue to engage online
- Do the work I need to do, when I say I’m going to do it.
- Continue to do yoga and meditate every day
- Leave Denver on good terms with the people I care about
- Cultivate partnerships already in the works, and seek out 2 new potential collaborations
- Take time to connect with myself multiple times per day.
30 Days from now I will be on a retreat in Costa Rica. 38 Days from now I will be driving across the country.
A few months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to make the same decision. I would have been too attached to how it’s always been, allowing myself to be limited by what I know and am comfortable with. You would have said ‘Alabama’ and I would have said ‘not a chance’. And that’s the beauty of it~